Part-time Ghost

Summer is Not Good for me in the sense that my generally timeless existence somehow becomes even less structured. I cannot tell what happened two days or a week ago.

- I bought a board/card game called Happy Little Dinosaurs, despite very emphatically Not being a gamer by any definition of the word. What can I say, I was swayed by the cute art and my own lack of impulse control, even though I know it's the adhd desperately seeking new dopamine kicks. It doesn't help that I'm always more or less frustrated over the fact that I'm not a perfect productivity machine and my subconscious is constantly striving to find some way to reinvent me. -__-

That being said, I enjoyed playing the game. I think it would be nice to be the kind of person who plays games with friends, even though I'm not.

- Am generally tired of not being amazing and accomplished in everything I do. Deeply unfair that I have flaws.

- Might've brought that up with my therapist if she hadn't cancelled. :( She's pregnant so I don't begrudge her that, but it's frustrating when I don't really have anything else than those appointments to anchor myself with.

- Spent most of the weekend taking long walks with wife and trying/failing to write. It's strange to go from trying to write oneshots for a new fandom after having one single longfic project to focus on for about two years; I'm left throwing paragraphs on the wall and see what sticks again after having a pretty solid outline to follow, and it's leaving me frustrated. Like I can't direct the little creative energy I have where it should go.

- Wife is going to a conference abroad on Sunday, so I'm taking a day trip to Uppsala to see uni friends and trying to think about the fun we'll have instead of dreading the possibility it'll trigger another depressive episode, lol.

- Been listening to Dark in Here (the album) by The Mountain Goats on repeat for days now.

First of all: welcome to new friends from the friending meme! I kind of disappeared off the face of the earth of the last two days, as I for the first time in ages actually left the house and spent time with other people.

Remember how I should go to a museum? Well, friday I mostly spend quality time with friends and made the last arrangements for Dimensions in october (and kind of fixed my sleeping schedule by staying up for 24 hours straight), but yesterday stalkerbunny and I went to the History Museum for the first time since they renovated.

(Turns out they weren't quite done renovating, but...)

( Some random photos behind cut )